Secret Blogs
by mrs-tsuki
Summary: {YAOI. STYLE} The boys were accepted in the University of Denver. Stan and Kyle are roomates. Since the gay model they have is Mr. Garrison, they just can't admit feelings for each other. Their own secret blogs seem like the only way out of this torture. Rated M for language (for now heh).
1. Roomates

Stan's secret blog.

"First Entry

October 20th

Ok. So it looks like I'm really doing this blog shit. Kenny convinced me – he said this stupid thing works like a journal that no one will ever read. So yep. Here I am. Things are working themselves pretty well here in Denver. This University thing is pretty cool and exciting. Ok, who am I kiddin'? This is my fucking journal so I get to write whatever the fuck I want. And what I really want to talk about is living with Kyle. Since the four of us were accepted in the University of Denver, Kyle and I decided to be roomates, because that seemed like the only right thing to do, but guess what. Living with my super best friend is hell. It's like he's Always there. When I'm awake and when I'm asleep. So yeah, there you go. I'm gay for Kyle. That's the gayest thing I've ever wrote, jeezas. It's been a while since I noticed I started feeling different, but now, living with him... DUDE.

And guess what. We have just arrived from a stupid birthday party Kyle threw me and for the first time in my whole life, I saw Kyle getting pretty close to a chick. ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY PARTY. The bitch was all running her fingers through his hair and all. Like BITCH, that's MY KYLE'S HAIR! You don't fucking know how bad his jewfro was ten years ago. AND I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY ADORABLE BACK THEN, YOU FUCKING WHORE. I bet she wouldn't have liked him back at elementar school. No one knows Kyle like I do. Just look at me. I sound like Taylor fucking Swift.

Yeah, I guess I'd better find myself some cats and end up like a sad old gay like Mr Garrison.

I'll probably go wash my fucking face now and get some sleep.

Stan."

"October 24th

So today I finally asked Kyle how things worked out with that girl from the other day. And I gotta say my heart was pretty relieved when he asked "What girl?... oh you mean Angela? No dude, we were just talking. I'm not into her or anything". And after that he looked at me with those big green eyes, and how could I ever resist those round green eyes of his? Yeah, I'm screwed. And I know I'm screwed because today I heard "Bon Jovi" singing "Always" and those lyrics made total sense to me.

Wait... am I turning into a girl? Is this what being a girl is like? Thinking only about one thing and fixating on that until no one can stand you anymore? Fuck!

So, gotta go now 'cause Ky and I are playing Mortal Kombat X and I'm gonna kick his ass. His perectly round and manly ass. (I'm probably gonna need a shrink).

Stan."

"Third Entry

October 27th, 2020.

Just passing by to say that me and Kyle are going to Halloween as Harry potter and Rony Weasley. Kenny wants to go as Hermione Granger (ok. How come he's Always the girl? And not only that. You'd be surprised how many girls he gets with that bullshit.) Kyle suggested Cartman would go as Hagrid – he's still undecided.

Well, there are these little moments when I realize Kyle still is Kyle – and the world is a wonderful place to live again. Well, it is a big deal for me knowing that we're fine that way. Even if he's straight and I'm (aparently) gay, we'll Always be best friends. Even if he ends up marrying some dumb art graduate and has 3 little kids, I know he'll name one of them after me. And I'll end up alone with a muppet named Mr. Hat and find myself a sex slave so I can insert gerbils up his ass. NO THAT'S NOT OK... SHIT MAN. Kyle's mine. He just doesn't know that. Yet. One day I'll have the courage to tell him that. It may not be today (it's certainly not going to be today), it may not be this year. But one day.

Stan."

"Fourth Entry

October 31th, 2020. (pre-party)

Today Kyle got all self-counscious about his looks again. I don't get it. He's the hottest guy alive. He's Always saying that he's shorter than me, but he's like half an inch shorter. And his shoulders are broader than mine. He's all lean and sexy and how come someone like him can't see that? It's like he's a genious for everything else than that. (that and the fact that I have the hots for him since I know what it's like feeling the hots for someone.)

Gotta go 'cause he wants to draw my fake scar.

Stan."

"November 1st, 2020.

Now that's embarassing. Kyle actually carried me home yesterday. I got as drunk as a pig, and I can't remember shit that I've done. Seriously, I'm scared that I said something to him, I'm scared that I've upset him.

I remeber things in flashes; Cartman making fun of Kyle, Kenny kissing everything that moved around him. I remeber seing Craig dressed as a Vampire (sometimes I forget he goes here too). I remember Kenny going back to his dorm with two girls who were dressed like slutty nurses. I remember Cartman bringing me beer. And I remember drinking.

My head is exploding. Had to skip school today.

Just hope Ky isn't upset and all.

Stan."

(A long time without any entry)

"December 20th, 2020.

Holy shit. I don't know how the fuck to say this but... er... Kyle just caught me jerking off on the shower and it's seriously the worst moment of my whole life. I just hope he didn't hear me saying his name while doing it. Shit dude. How pathetic I've become... I'm 20 years old, in love with my fucking best friend, who is also a dude. My only sex experience ever was with my childhood sweetheart, Wendy, and it was bad (don't wanna remember that). I actually think bad sex was what had us break up and all. That and the fact that I like men. Actually. No, I don't like men. I like Kyle and that's different.

That's because when I'm with him, I can be myself and no one else. He's Kyle and we've been together since we were born. He's the one I can make fart jokes about, I can discuss my family's issues, I can go a whole week without sleeping just playing videogames with him, I can tell him anything I'd like. Except for the most important of all. "Hey Kyle, guess what dude? Remember when I was masturbating in the shower? Yeah, I was thinking about you. I was actually thinking about having some gay sex with you. How about that?"

Dude, I suck. Probably start looking for a new apartment tonight.

Stan."

Kyle's Secret Blog

First Entry

December 20th.

"Kenny's Always saying that the best way to open up about your darkest secrets is through a blog. So here I am, writing in my own stupid blog. BECAUSE I JUST SAW STAN'S COCK. STAN'S FULL HARD MODE MASSIVE COCK WHILE HE WAS ON THE SHOWER.

Actually, I accidentally saw him jerking off and I looked. I thought I would never take my eyes off of it. I'm so fucking embarassed.

It's just. Stan is so gorgeous. Not that he doesn't know that... I see how every girl in Denver looks at him. His athletic body sure catches everyone's attention. And his gorgeous black hair. And his dreamy smile. And now. HIS COCK.

EVEN HIS COCK IS BEAUTIFUL – Damn, Stan really is perfect AAAAND there's me. His ugly roomate – I sure make a very nice contrast when I'm by his side in campus. But I don't mind. As long as I get to spend time with him. He's my super best friend, my role model and my secret crush.

And I'm having like these sick thoughts dude...

And apparently I've ruined it now. Since he got off the shower, I've said I'm sorry but he's acting all weird around me.

Is this what love feels like?

Sick, dude.

Kyle"


	2. With a little help from my friends

**Here's the second chapter. From now on the blog entries are in the bottom of the page.**

 **Thought it would be nice to bring the other boys in the story too.**

 **Please review and let me know what you guys think.**

* * *

-I'm sorry, dude. I had no idea where to go...

-That's ok, Stan. You can crash here... – Kenny opened the dorm door and Stan figured he'd been asleep. His hair was all messy and he was only wearing pajamas bottoms (even though it was 4PM)...

-Kenny? What's going on over there?– the feminine voice came from the pile of blankets on Kenny's messy bed. Then she appeared, a blonde girl wearing the tops matching Kenny's pajamas pants.

-Oh. – Kenny wasn't embarassed by the situation. At least not as much as the other two clearly were. – Yeah. Stan, this is... uh...

-NATALIE. – The girl yelled, very pissed and reaching for her original clothes, which were spread on the floor.

\- Oh... hey, Natalie... –Stan felt bad for the girl. She seemed nice, he'd seen her before at campus.

\- Hey, babe, don't worry. Stan here is one of my best friends... – Kenny reached for Stan's shoulders and gave him a little punch. – and it seems he's in trouble, for his frown, isn't that right, Stan?

-Oh, dude, I don't mean to interrupt, I... I'll come back another time! –Stan was already turning towards the door

-Nonsense! C'mon Stanley! Grab a beer, tell me what's wrong!– Kenny fell on the chair and spread his arms. (Natalie was already half dressed and clearly furious, giving Kenny some rage glances every now and then.)

-Er... I... – Stanley looked shyly towards the girl – I don't think now's the right time.

\- OH DON'T MIND ME. PLEASE. Suit yourself – Natalie grabbed her purse. When she turned the doorknob, she looked back once again and flipped Kenny her middle finger – you'll never EVER fuck me again douchebag. And with that she left with a slam on the door.

-Well, that was... intense? – Kenny laughed – no, seriously... things were getting serious with that one. It's the second time she's been here. You're making me a favor... – he took a sip on the beer Stan just handed him

Stan looked down and shook his head. He did not aprove the way Kenny treated the girls he slept with. But he wasn't here because of Kenny. He took a sip of his own beer.

-Ok, so Kenny... I'm here because... – Kyle was interrupted by the vibrating sound of Kenny's phone on the table and the "Turn down for what" ringtone, to which Kenny simply smiled. – you can answer that first...

-Oh! Look! It's Kyle! – Kenny looked down and was about to answer when Stan took his phone from him

-NO! Kyle can't know I'm here, ok? – Stan did that in such a desperate way that Kenny actually changed his expression for the first time since he got there.

-Wow, wow. Chill, Stan. - Kenny stood up and slowly took his phone away from Stan – So... what's wrong between you and Kyle? And, don't even bother saying it's got nothing to do with him...

-I...It's just... –Stan looked at Kenny, who at this point had a suspicious look on his face – God, how do I put this... I can't live with Kyle anymore.

-You're joking, right?

-No, I'm not. It's become unbearable... – Stan looked at his beer and took another sip

-But dude... Since kindergarden you two are like husband and wi...

-DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT, YOU MORON! – Stan yelled so loudly that his neck veins could be seen from a distance.

-All right, all right! Jeezas, dude... what's wrong with you today? – At that point, Kenny started to fear for his life. – Okay. You don't want to live with your best friend anymore. And I can see something really upset you. But my point IS. – He was looking and gesturing to Stan as if he was trying to tame a hungry lion – you've relied on each other for 20 years now. Are you really going to let that go for something that has just happened? Have you ever considered thinking about the way he's feeling right now?

-Wow, for someone who just threw a girl out of your room, you seem pretty concerned about other's feelings now, aren't you, Kenny? – Stan looked down at his bottle and it was half empty already.

Kenny laughed and sat down again.

-The difference here, Stanley, is that Nicole now...

-Natalie.

-Whatever. I made Natalie a favor. Now she's learned a valuable lesson and is one step closer to finding true love. – Kenny jokingly took a bow and rose his beer in Stan's direction – while our friend Kyle (whatever it is that he might have done to you) is calling me probably wondering where the heck you are, worried. And he'll never find a friend he trusts as much as you.

"Damn. Kenny truly is a little wise asshole" Kyle thought " maybe he learned something from the afterlife..."

-Oh and Look who's calling now! – Kenny showed the phone to Stan. It simply showed the word "fatass" with Cartman's photo. "Turn down for what" started playing again. Kenny pressed answer and put him on speaker

-What's up fatass? – Kenny answered – I'm on speaker and I'm with Stan.

-"Oh, goddammit, Kenny. Hey Stan, how come you're not here with your girlfriend? I thought you and the jew were born with your asses stuck like siamese people or something."

-Kyle's there?- Stan's heart pounded.

-"No. But he said he's on his way. Fag... C'mon douchebags. Let's go out for some you people make me sick. Meet you in the bar in 5."

Cartman hung up.

Kenny just looked up at Stan and smiled.

-Look, now you two have the chance to talk! Cheers! – Kenny grabbed some t-shirt laying on the ground and got dressed ( still in pajama pants, tho).

Stan didn't really feel like seeing Kyle right now but talking to Kenny made him see things a little different. He couldn't make Kyle upset by something that he wasn't aware of.

The boys were reaching for the door and then Stan felt Kenny's hand on his shoulder

-But seriously now dude – the blond said in a tone so low that Kyle turned around – Tell him the way you feel about him.

Stan's eyes widened. His mouth opened and he meant to say something. But Kenny just said:

-Don't. Just don't. – he looked at Stan's blue eyes and saw all those suffering years repressed. He also saw when a tear formed on the inner corner of his left eye. He couldn't do anything but hug him and let him cry on his shoulder.

-There, there – Kenny felt a little weird, actually. Stan was the tallest of the four of them and seeing him fragile like that was bizarre to say the least. – hey... for what it's Worth, some people around campus already think you two are a gay couple.

Stan raised up and wiped his tears with the back of his arm. He even laughed a little.

-Ok, now. Let's go. The guys are waiting.

* * *

 **Stan's blog**

We just arrived from some drinks with the guys. The four of us. Kyle and I acted like nothing happened. And while we were there laughing and having a good time together (at some point, on our way back home, we even started singin Fingerbang. LOL), it just came across my mind we're all still those little boys, living in a small mountain town. Managing to go through all the weird kind of shit. This is just another weird shit. This "being gay for my best friend" shit.

And fuck that little pussy-magnet Kenny for Always being right.

I feel a little better today.

Actually it's the best I've felt in a while.

Oh and for the record, some people in campus think of me and Kyle as a gay couple. That's gay.

Stan

* * *

 **Kyle's blog**

Fingerbang bang bang Fingerbang bang bang bang bang  
I'm gunna fingerbang, bang you into my life.  
Girl, you like to fingerbang and it's alright.  
'cause' I'm the king of fingerbang, yea, that's right .  
I'll just fingerbang, bang you every night.

I'm gonna fingerbang Stan for the rest of my life.

Wait what?

Drunk Kyle


End file.
